Helping those who have been hurt by the church...

     Over the past (almost) 2 years of our plant I’ve seen countless individuals spiritually limp through our doors having been hurt by unfortunate church circumstances in their life.  Almost reluctantly they’ll come to dip their toe in the water of The Journey.  With one eyebrow cocked every move we make seems to be examined, they’re waiting to spot that flaw to confirm their suspicions.  On one hand they’re hoping we’re “different” yet they’re struggling with some serious trust issues.  At times I almost feel like I don’t want to make any sudden moves fearing I’ll scare them away, though I’m certain I’ve unintentionally ran many off.

     I consistently rack my brain as to how I can better reach this element of the MOV, my heart truly breaks for them.  Should I sit and listen to every one-sided story that grabs my ear?  Should I show them some tough love and tell them to man-up and get over it?  Perhaps there’s a balance there somewhere.  I deeply want The Journey to be a place of healing to the unchurched.  I know for that to happen we need to listen well and push these individuals to spiritually walk without a crutch again.

     Don’t get me wrong, at times I’ve been deeply hurt by the actions of a body of Christ and needed someone to listen to me, to vent, to process my thoughts with another believer.  I also totally understand being frustrated with the trajectory of a local church.  Where I (and others) go wrong is when I start thinking that if I throw the entire church (global) under the bus it will help turn one particular church around, teaching them a lesson.  When I behave like that I become what it is that I claim to hate.  That behavior makes me a part of the problem not the solution, it’s counter productive to the cause of Christ.

     Ask yourself this difficult question.  Can you extend grace to those in the church that have let you down or do they fall out of bounds, beyond the conditions of your love?  I’m not saying you have to worship with them, bow to their perceived destructive church philosophies or let them walk all over you.  My advice ultimately to you is to extend to them the grace that Jesus has extended to you.  Truly extending them grace will actually liberate you from all of the grudge-holding and negativity that is concealed in your mind like a loaded weapon, and it makes God and His church look good.  Grace frees you from the bondage of resentment and bitterness, the keys to those handcuffs is a gift of God.

     Jesus was willing to say hard things to people that needed to hear it, be honest about where God’s people were faltering but yet refused to withdrawal from the church and bash them at arms-length.  He repeatedly went back to Jerusalem to worship with the people that he knew would crucify him, he truly was a suffering servant.  He healed those who He knew would go on to sell him out, fed those who shortly after He knew would turn their backs on Him, and forgave those whom He knew would eventually/inevitably/immediately sin again.  His disciples followed suit and so should you and I.

     Hear what I’m not saying.  I’m not saying that you should enslave yourself to a self-destructive church environment, stay within a church that’s not centered on the gospel and starves sheep, or become just another stagnant naysayer in a sleepy church going through the motions.  You may very well need to leave a particular church because of a circumstance that calls for that action (there are many good reasons to leave a church, I genuinely believe that).

     With that said, believers of the gospel, lovers of Jesus are willing to endure the sufferings of church hurt without abandoning the body of Christ or cursing its existence to the world.  Some Christians loosely kick around the word “church” beating up on the body of the one they claim to love.  Somehow unknowingly these individuals can become the Christian-abuser they claimed to have left the church over, the abusee becoming the abuser… So much for grace…

     Rather than tear down the proverbial walls of the church, let’s be laborers in God’s kingdom.  Let’s leave the righteous retribution in more capable hands than our own, Jesus seems more suited for that task than you and I.  May we be slaves of righteousness to the glory of God and suffer well for the advancement of His purposes rather than wallow in the snare of our own graceless banter towards the ones for whom Jesus died.

May we listen to the hurting and help them get back on their feet again,

Cody